Been a long time since I have written!! Just been busy and lazy at the same time. Its been now about 2 months since I have started on bench research at JNCASR, Bangalore. Something which I hope will be of help in my future academic career and honestly something which I really wanted to lay my hands on. Anyway that’s  not what I am writing about today. Today Nature has inspired me to finally break free from my shackles of laziness and monotonous bench routine. Today after a long time, may be some 5-6 years, I have got a nostalgic feeling about my childhood and those days of jhadis. Gosh, where are those days now!!

I am sitting under a shade surrounded by bamboos with a small lake in front of me. Innumerable water drops merging with their like and metamorphosing into countless air bubbles – forming and popping… The smell of wet earth, tinkling of rain drops, a cozy chill in the air and the dawn of dusk…really I feel like a child close to my Mother bosom. And incidentally today is Earth’s day. See the irony…a mother neglected by her children still cares for them…

The last time I had seen such awe inspiring sight was probably during my school days. I still remember me playing in the lunch break under a totally dark sky with cool wind rushing into my face and occasional rain drops tickling me…people playing around, windows gently rocking into walls…And then some half hour later sitting in class in fear for its thundering like never before and the mango tree outside swaying as if drunk and wanting to break free from its roots. The sound of rain drops on windows frightening in a non-threatening sense and the dark sky lightening up with mile long thunderbolts and a cracking sound causing glass panes to shiver and as if moving my own bench also!! And then going home cycling and getting wet…and eating warm pakodas, carefully wrapped in a dry cloth by my mother lest I will get cold…And then probably I went to sleep and waking up with skies still dark and occasional drizzling with everything around me so vivid and clear – grass green like never before, soil brown like never before…voices around me so clear and crisp…felt like my senses rejuvenated…And then waking up next day to find its still raining with skies so dark as to needing lights to be switched on and going to school wrapped in raincoat and the smell of samosas coming from canteen. Who would want to worry about the learning in such a nice weather!! Since it used to rain the whole day and most of the classes got canceled, we people used to go to canteen every hour or so to eat and just hang around…What a bliss!! And then in noon breaking up and the cycle repeating for the next 2-3 days. Those were the days of jhadis man, really good time!!!

But alas, either I got too busy or weather changed over the next few years so much so that even 10-15 minutes of mild rain was relieving. But then there was always that void, the memories of past. And today, just after having tea as I was coming out of library, I felt attracted to a tree with pink flowers swaying gently against a totally dark background of cloud laden sky. Just when I was roaming around enjoying the beauty of scene all of a sudden skies opened and it started raining with cool winds gushing in. I got a bit wet also but really that’s something which I had desired. And then just when I thought its over…it started raining like something which I had long forgotten. Rain drops wanting to delve deeper into earth, skies thundering loud enough to mask any and every sound around them, wind and trees testing each other in a friendly rivalry, flocks of birds trying hard to find a shelter and getting scattered around as if the wind wants to caress them…everything seemed so soothing.

And here I am sitting under the shade with a crane in the lake in front of me waiting patiently to catch a fish, getting drenched in the transaction but not minding it. Oh what a pity… perhaps gone are the days when I could also get drenched like this without being looked down upon by people with questions in their eyes. But someday I hope I will do that. Someday I will relive my childhood.

Its still raining pretty strongly…

***वो नहा रही थी***

संसार से छुपकर
दुषित कामुक नेत्रों से बचकर ।
अपनी मर्यादा की रक्षा करती हुई
वो नहा रही थी ॥

काली से काले केशों को सुल्झाती हुई
वो नहा रही थी ।

कमल नयनों को मूँद्ती हुई
वो नहा रही थी ।

मुख पर स्मीत लिये लज्जाती हुई
वो नहा रही थी ।

अधरों को फडफडाती हुई
वो नहा रही थी ।

शरीर को थरथराती हुई
वो नहा रही थी ।

नदी की लहरों सी मचलती हुई
वो नहा रही थी ।

निर्लज जल की बुँदे
उसका स्पर्श कर रही हैं ।
इससे बेखबर
वो नहा रही थी ॥

***तारा***

आज यकायक आकाश में नजर उठ गई
देखा कुछ कम्पीत सा, घबराया सा ।
मैने पूछा कौन है तू
अधरों को झिलमिलाते वो बोला ॥

सदा मैं तेरे सामने था
फिर भी तू यह पूछ्ता है ।
दुषित चन्द्र को तो तुने सदा चाहा है
पर मुझ पवित्र प्रकाश पुंज को सदैव से भूला है ॥

शायद एक कारण है
चन्द्र का चरित्र है अस्थायी ।
बढता है, घटता है
कभी कुलीन तो कभी शीतल होता है ॥

पर मैं, मैं तो सदा एकसा हूँ
भले हूँ योजन दूर, पर हर रात आता हूँ ।
मेरा प्रकाश शायद आजाये तेरे काम
यही सोच तत्पर हो आता हूँ ॥

पर शायद चन्द्र ही तुझसे मिलता है
पापी होकर भी तुम खुद को निश्कलंक कह्ते हो ।
पवित्र होकर तुम्हारा अस्तित्व ना हो जाये क्षीण
क्या यही सोच घबराते हो ॥

यही सोच शायद तुम मुझसे नजर नही मिलाते हो ।

***पहचान***

दू हाथ, दू पग का तेरा यो रूँड
जीपे तू करत है मान ।

समा, टका लगावत है ई पर
पर इको बचन तू जात है भूल ।

रूँड तो सबन का एको है
फिर कै है हमरी पहिचान ।

गोरब है ई रूँड का ई सर
जिसे तू खुद है खोयो ।

ना लाज. ना धरम
ना देस, ना ही तेरो मान ।

ना है ईका जस तेरे सर पे ।

और फिर तू पूछत है,
कियाँ है मेरी पहिचान ।

उँच कर अपना सर, उँच कर अपनी पहिचान
पहल खुद तो ऊठा, फिर औरन को पतित जान ।

Taking off from where I left; I recently read an article on Bhagat Singh which postulated that even though Mahatma Gandhi’s and Bhagat Singh’s viewpoints look contrary at face value they both in fact stood for same thing. Satyagrah. I believe this scholarly work should be read by anyone willing to get acquainted with a different perspective, willing to delve further in Bhagat Singh’s mind and life. I can’t upload the full article here, chiefly because of legal issues, but I am going to verbatim quote some passages from the paper which moved me.

***Excerpts from manifestos thrown by Bhagat Singh and Batukeshwar Dutt along with bombs in Delhi’s Legislative Assembly on 8th April 1929***

>”It takes a loud voice to make deaf hear”

>”It is easy to kill individuals but you cannot kill ideas”

>”We hold great sanctity to human life but we hold it necessary to sometimes sacrifice lives for the greater revolution”

>”Long live the revolution. Down with imperialism”

>”Inquilab Zindabad”

***Bhagat Singh’s and B. Dutt’s joint statement responding to criticism of their actions by Congress leaders during their trial in sessions court***

>”We hold human life sacred beyond words. We are neither perpetrators of dastardly outrages, and, therefore, a disgrace to the country…nor are we ‘lunatics’ as the Tribune of Lahore and some others would have it believed….Force when aggressively applied is ‘violence’ and is, therefore, morally unjustifiable, but when it is used in the furtherance of a legitimate cause, it has its moral justification. The elimination of force at all costs is Utopian”

***An editorial in The People reflecting sentiments of common people towards Bhagat Singh and Dutt***

>”Transportation for life to two young men – their crime had broken a couple of benches in the Assembly Chamber and given slight bruises to two or three members who happened to be near those benches! Seldom has ‘justice’ made a better bargain!…the young bomb throwers…received [the news] with joy…their usual shouts of ‘Long live the revolution’. It is this spirit the posterity would admire…Bhagat Singh…has dared all earthly power to curb his spirit”

***From defense statement of Bhagat Singh and B. Dutt***

>”From under the seeming stillness of the seat of Indian humanity a veritable storm is about to break out. We have given a fair and loud warning. By crushing two insignificant units the nation cannot be crushed.”

***Definition of ‘political prisoner’ by Jinnah: most vocal of moral supporters of Bhagat Singh and Dutt***

>”Well, you know perfectly well that these men are determined to die. It is not a joke. I ask the Hon’ble  Law Member to realize that it is not everybody who can go on starving himself to death…The man who goes on a hunger-strike has a soul. He is moved by the soul and he believes in the justice of his cause; he is not an ordinary criminal who is guilty of cold-blooded, sordid, wicked crime.”

***Jinnah in support of Bhagat Singh demands***

>”They are not asking for ‘dressing-tables’ or ’spring mattresses’. They want nothing but bare necessities and a little better treatment. I ask you in all decency, why cannot you concede this small thing? Did the government want to prosecute these young men or persecute them?”

***Letter from Bhagat Singh and others to Government pointing out differences between violent and non-violent offences***

>”It is through motive alone that the real value of any action can be decided. Are we to understand that the government is unable to distinguish between a robber who robs and kills his victims and a Kharag Bahadur who kills a villain and save the honor of a young lady and redeems society of a most licentious parasite? Are both to be treated as two men belonging to the same category? Is there no difference between the two men who commit the same offence  one guided by selfish motive and other by a selfless one? Similarly is there no difference between a common murderer and a political worker even if the latter resorts to violence? Does not his selflessness elevate his place from amongst those of ordinary criminals?”

***Bhagat Singh’s final letters showing an emotional and political maturity far ahead of his age of just 23 years***

>”Compromise is a part of politics, but it is important to remain steadfast in the final goal. If we are fighting for 16 annas we must accept the 1 anna we receive and continue fighting for the remaining 15. The problem with moderates is that they fight for 1 anna and receive nothing in return.”

>”mein aatankari nahin hoon, mein ek krantikari hoon“

>”bam fainkna na sirf bekaar, balki nuksaandayak hai“

>”It is important not only to die for your goals but also to live by them”

***Mahatma Gandhi on his approval for participation in World War, against his ideology of ahimsa***

>”A votary of truth is often obliged to grope in the dark”

***Author on how Bhagat Singh was ideologically much closer to Gandhi than commonly acknowledged***

>”That these young men, otherwise so fond of life and food, did not eat for months on end is a testimony to their pursuit of truth and their capacity for self suffering – cardinal principles of Satyagrah as Gandhi himself defined them.”

And finally, the quote which moved me the most;

***An article in The People on the manner and spirit of hunger strike in Lahore jail***

>”heart-and-soul devotion to a cause, heart-and-soul loyalty to associates, fidelity to the death, are virtues which command our involuntary reverence. Nowhere are they so common as not to be held in high honor. If Sardar Bhagat Singh and Mr. Batukeshwar Dutt persist in their fast to fatal extremities, India will be immensely the poorer for her loss. For them the struggle will be over. But what for us…is the moral? That is a question for each one to answer…Most of our lives are built on compromises. Is it possible to be more single-minded?”

I hope these quotes will make you think. Atleast they made me. I now appreciate my freedom. Seeing the tiranga is no longer mundane. And seeing it disrespected is no longer passable.

Above all disregarding my motherland for those who cared the least about my country now weighs heavy on my soul.

“Civilized” way of living is no longer enamoring.

Slaying of my ignorance is now what I believe in. 

Inspired from: NEETI NAIR Bhagat Singh as ‘Satyagrahi’: The Limits to Non-violence in Late Colonial India. Modern Asian Studies, Published online by Cambridge University Press 22 Apr 2008 doi:10.1017/S0026749X08003491

I recently visited an exhibition on the trial of Bhagat Singh. It was an inspiring experience to get acquainted with their life experiences. How fortunate were those who would have lived to see them. Bhagat Singh and many of his fellow friends were all educated and well to do. But even then they had the zeal to break the shackles of system which made them a physical, mental and moral slave. They all could have achieved excellent education and cushy jobs had they flattered the British. But those men had the will to rise above such materialistic issues and commit to the bigger cause. They were labeled “terrorists” by the system but then one day someone like me is remembering them as iconic youths. They embraced death saying praises of Bhaarat at the same age as I am today. They had the charisma to mobilize masses for the cause of nation at my age. And me???  My existence feels so useless. I can’t stand upto their aura. And I think I may know why.

There were few exhibits telling about some Jatin Das, Jatindra Nath Das. A young man of around 24 years. A student of Calcutta University. Do you know him? I never did…that is before my visit to the exhibit. And now I can’t stop thinking about him everytime I bite into my food. Every bite of food weighs heavy on my heart. And I will tell you about his sacrifice. But more than that he made me realize perhaps why I feel so mundane…so not worth of being called a son of Bhaarat.

Bhagat Singh and Batukeshwar Dutt, deewane as we fondly remember them and “terrorists” as British wanted us to believe, were shifted to Lahore jail after their arrest for “making deafs hear”. There they met other revolutionaries including Jatin Das. They were served scarce food laced with dead roaches and had deplorable living conditions.

They protested. But The Crown was deaf. They had to resort to a “satyagraha“…a fast.

None of them ever had done a fast except for Jatin da, as they fondly called him. Indeed he was the eldest among them for majority of them were young…very young – Bhagat Singh 20-21, B. Dutt 19-20 and many others in their early 20s. Those young souls were warned by Jatin da that this is not going to be easy. “If someone breaks down in between  it will nullify the satyagraha. And don’t expect the British to bend back easily as well”, he explained. Even then some 20 “true” sons of Bhaarat decided to do fast for their dignity and for our motherland.

Weeks passed…and so passed even the months. In clumsy cells of Lahore jail, in scorching heat of June they fasted, they did the satyagraha. They tried to force feed them…they humiliated and tortured them…they tried to break their unity…they filled their pitchers with milk rather than water…they did all they could. But that impeccable spirit of unity and commitment to maa failed to die down.

Jatin da fasted the longest…84 days…that’s nearly 3 months. He suffered a stroke rendering his left hand disabled for life, his legs and other hand atrophied to an irreversible degree, he lost his vision, his blood circulation limited to only around the heart …he died “inch by inch”.

But he did not take food. He did not relent. He stood up till the end for his nation, for Bhagat Singh and other young revolutionaries. For us.

And then one day he became a martyr. His body could not relent his will. He passed away.

He weighed just 9kg when he died.

9kg…

And now I think, for whom did he do it? For us… So that one day we can breathe free. And we… we are such deplorable souls that we don’t even respect our motherland. Leave aside even that. We can’t even skip a day’s meal for our own sake. We “have to” eat three times a day and then in between and then we call ourselves controller of our mind and wishes. The supreme being!! Pround Indians!! What a mockery of self. What a mockery of Jatin da sacrifice.

Can I ever willingly suffer like Jatin da did? Can I do it when I know its consequence? Can I maintain such a steadfast resolution? Can I ever be like them – the real sons of Bhaarat, the real men.

Honestly, I don’t think so. I am too worried about my meaningless existence. I crave for delicacies when millions of my fellow countrymen eat nothing but handful of rice. I need pizza and burgers and all that bling to keep me going. I am still a slave of British and the West. I am their moral slave. And I have undertaken this slavery willingly. What a shame!! I have no morality. I am a hollow being.

Can I really stand upto Jatin da? Do I really deserve to flourish in lap of my mother? I am just using Her to spiral further down in my materialistic life.

Using my selfless Mother. What a shame to my manhood…

***प्रतीत***

क्यों तेरे तेज के आगे
निस्तेज प्रतीत होता हूँ ।

क्यों तेरी शीलता के आगे
अशील प्रतीत होता हूँ ।

क्यों तेरे स्नेह के आगे
निस्नेह प्रतीत होता हूँ ।

क्यों तेरी ममता के आगे
निर्मम प्रतीत होता हूँ ।

क्यों तेरी दीर्घता के आगे
लघु प्रतीत होता हूँ ।

क्षमा जो तुम करती हो मेरे पाप
क्यों अक्षमय प्रतीत होता हूँ ।

क्यों तेरा भाई होकर भी
मैं तुझसे अलग प्रतीत होता हूँ ।

***मैं धन्य हूँ***

बहन, तेरा प्रेम जो मुझे मिला
मैं धन्य हूँ, मैं धन्य हूँ ।

बहन, तेरा संग जो मुझे मिला
मैं धन्य हूँ, मैं धन्य हूँ ।

बहन, तेरा आदर जो मुझे मिला
मैं धन्य हूँ, मैं धन्य हूँ ।

बहन, तेरा समय जो मुझे मिला
मैं धन्य हूँ, मैं धन्य हूँ ।

बहन, तेरा वात्सलय जो मुझे मिला
मैं धन्य हूँ, मैं धन्य हूँ ।

हे भगिनी, तुझसे जो सोभाग्य मुझे मिला
मैं धन्य हूँ, मैं धन्य हूँ ।

माँ का पुत्र से प्रेम
प्रेम नहीं ममता है ।

सैनिक का देश से प्रेम
प्रेम नहीं बलिदान है ।

प्रेमी का प्रेमीका से प्रेम
प्रेम नहीं कामुक्ता है ।

भक्त का प्रभु से प्रेम
प्रेम नहीं भक्ती है ।

मनुष्य का शरीर से प्रेम
प्रेम नहीं मोह है ।

आत्मा का शून्य से प्रेम
प्रेम नहीं मोक्श है ।

प्रेम अगर प्रेम नहीं
तो फिर क्या है ।

***देशभक्त***

जब नाम लिया मैंने उस देशभक्त का
क्यों तूने मुझे लज्जित किया ।

भले तो बोला कुछ नहीं
पर तेरी आँखॊं ने मुझे लज्जित किया ।

जब देखा तेरी आँखॊं ने मुझे
तो क्यों उन्होंने यह प्रशन किया ।

जिसका खून है पानी
आखिर उसने इधर का रुख क्यों किया ।

मैंने पूछा तू क्यों ये प्रशन करती है
पुत्र हूँ इस धरती का इस पर संश्य करती है ।

सन्देह नहीं है तेरी देह पर, वो बोली
पर तेरा मन क्या इस धरती का है ।

सिर तो तू भी दे सकता है इस देश पर
लेकिन मन भी क्या तू दे सकता है ।

आज एकाएक प्रभु हनुमान की महिमा का एसा अवलोकन हुआ की कुछ लिखने को बाध्य हो गया हूँ । हनुमान को तो सब जानते हैं… आपार शक्ति, विवेक एवं शीलता तो उनका अक्स्मात परिचय हैं । लेकिन आज प्रभु के वो स्वरुप की अनुभुति हुई की मन मुग्ध हो गया ।

प्रभु तो पवनपुत्र हैं, लेकिन वो तो शंकर के भी पुत्र हैं । एक कथा शायद आपने सुनी ना हो । एक बार प्रभु शिव तथा माता पार्वती वन क्रीडा में लीन थे । दोनों वानर रूप धारण कर काम क्रीडा के उत्सुक हुए । किन्तु माता पार्वती ने वानर रूप धारी प्रभु शंकर के वीर्य को धारण करना अस्वीकार किया । प्रभु शंकर का वीर्य धारण करने के लिये वरुण देव उपस्थित हुये । जिस प्रकार कुमार कार्तिकेय के जऩ्म के समय अग़्नि ने प्रभु शिव का वीर्य धारण किया था उसी प्रकार आज वरुण ने किया । किन्तु जैसी उष्मा, जैसी शक्ति उसमे तब थी वैसी ही तो आज भी थी ना । वीर्य की रक्षा तो वरुण ने की किन्तु धारण तो उसे एक स्त्री की शीलता ही कर सकती थी । माँ अंजना ने प्रभु शिव के दैविक वीर्य को धारण किया और तब यह धरती प्रभु हनुमान के आगम्न से सुखी हुई ।  शिव-पार्वती, अंजना-केसरी, वरुण, सुर्य कितने ही असीम व्यकित्त्व हनुमान के जीवन में समावेश हैं । लेकिन हनुमान तो हनुमान तभी हुये जब प्रभु राम कि कृपा तथा सेवा से वो अनुग्रहित हुए । इतना दिव्य हो जिस प्रभु का जीवन, उस हनुमान को क्यूँ नहीं स्मरण करें?

प्रभु हनुमान कि वंदना शिव-शक्ति तथा विष्णु-लक्ष्मी वंदना का समावेश है । एक सुत्र है दो भक्ति समुदायों के बीच । एक सुत्र है मनुष्य को आलोकिक संसार से जोडने का । एक चेतना है जो यह अव्लोकन कराती है कि जब एक वानर प्रभु भक्ति में लीन हो सकता है, तो हम जीव शीरोमणि क्यों नहीं ?

दिनकर जोशी कृत उपन्यास

गत सप्ताह एकाएक कोई उपन्यास पढ्ने कि चेष्टा  हुई. बहुत समय तक मैंने पुस्तक कोश में ढूंढा लेकिन कुछ भी एसा ना मिला जिसे पढ्ने कि जागरुता हुई हो. एकाएक दिनकर जोशी कृत अमृतयात्रा नामक उपन्यास ने मुझे आकर्षित किया. वैसे तो इस उपन्यास्कार के बारे में मैंने कभी पहले सुना नहीं था परन्तु इनकी रचना का विषय जानकर जिग्यासा बढी. कथा महाभारत की है. आचार्य द्रोण ने किस कारण द्रुपद के पुत्र धृष्ट्धुमन को अपना शिष्य बनाया जब की वे भली भाँती जानते कि उनकी मृत्यु का कर्म उसी को करना था? क्यों द्रोण ने उसे  शस्त्र विद्या सिखायी? क्यों द्रोण ने गुरुदक्षिणा के स्वरूप उस से अपने वध के समय उनपर उच्च प्रहार करने का वचन माँगा? जानता हूँ आपकी रुची बढी है, लेकिन अगर सब कुछ बाताकर मैं आपको इस उत्त्कृष्ट रचना के सौन्दर्य से वन्चित नहीं रखना चाह्ता!! अमृतयात्रा पढ्ते हुए बहुत ही अछा लगा. एसा रस, एसा भाव, एसा रोमांच तो प्रेमचन्द एवं शरत्चन्द्र के उपन्यसों को भी पढ्ते हुए अनुभव नहीं हुआ. सच कह्ता हूं. इसमे जितना श्रेय़ दिनकर जोशी का है, शायद उतना ही उपन्यास के हिन्दी अनुवाद्कार त्रिवेदी प्रसाद शुक्ला का है. विशेश्कर श्रीकृष्ण संबन्धी संवाद तो एसे प्रतीत हुए जैसे स्वयं भगवन ने उन्हें रचा हो!! कितना सत्य, कितना गूढ तत्व था उन वचनों में. सचमुच अद्वित्य रचना है. सर्व उत्तम तो कथा का अन्त था. क्या मार्मिक एवं सम्वेदन्शील व्रितान्त था. उसको शब्दोशब्द अनुकरण ही उसके सौन्द्रय़ को बनाये रख सकता है. उसी का उल्लेख करने के लिये मुझे यह प्रसंग लिखने के लिये विवश किया…

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    “…अशवत्थामा की मृत्यु हुई है, आचार्य…” युधिष्टर जोर से बोले और फिर तत्काल मुँह दूसरी दिशा में करके बोले, “अशवत्थामा तो एक हाथी का भी नाम है!”

    पर युधिष्टर का यह उत्तरार्ध कथन सुनने के लिये द्रोण वहाँ खडे नहीं थे. युधिष्टर के रथ से प्रकाश किरण अब लुप्त हो गयी थी. रथ पर बादल ढँक गया था. आचार्य द्रोण रथ से नीचे उतरकर भूमि पर बैठ गये थे.

    “ॐ…” आचार्य के कंठ से अचानक एक ध्वनि निकली. उसकी प्रतिध्वनि समाप्त होते ही तत्काल उनका स्वर सुनाई दिया, ” दुर्योधन, कॊरव सेनापति के रूप में अब मैं निवृत  हो रहा हूँ. मैं शस्त्र त्यागकर रहा हूँ. तुम्हारा कल्याण हो, वत्स.”

    कॊरव सेनाएँ हतप्रभ हो गयी.

    आचार्य ने आँखे मँद लीं.

    उनके मुखमंड्ल पर एक प्रकाश पुंज व्याप्त हो गया और इसके बाद वह क्रमश: विलीन हो गया. उन्होंने एक गहरी साँस ली और इसके बाद साँस भी बंद हो गई. द्रोणाचार्य ने योग समाधि ले ली थी. उनका चैतनय निर्विकार भाव से प्राप्त हो गया था.

    थोडी ही दूर पर पांड्व सेनापति धृष्ट्धुमन ने यह देखा. विद्याभ्यास के अंत में स्वयं आचार्य के द्वारा दिया गया वचन उसकी स्मृति में साकार हो उठा. पिता द्रुपद की एकमात्र आकांक्षा द्रोण के वध की थी. उनके वध के लिये ही धृष्ट्धुमन का निर्माण हुआ था. धृष्ट्धुमन ने छ्लाँग मारी. उसके हाथ की तलवार हवा में लहराई. उसकी चमक में सबकी आँखे जैसे चौंधिया गईं. कोई कुछ समझे, इसके पहले ही धृष्ट्धुमन आचार्य के पास पहुँच गया. आचार्य की आँखे बन्द थीं – चेतना स्माप्त हो गयी थी, पर शरीर पर स्थित तेजोवलय अभी नामशेष नहीं हुआ था. धृष्ट्धुमन ने आचार्य के सिर के बाल पकड लिये.

    ” नहीं, सेनापति धृष्ट्धुमन ! कृपा करके दूर हटिए ! आचार्य ने शस्त्र त्याग किया है. वे पूजनीय हैं, अवध्य हैं !” अर्जुन के कंठ से दिशायें विदारित हो जाएँ, ऐसा चीत्कार उठा.

    पर यह चीत्कार शांत हो, उसके पहले ही धृष्ट्धुमन की तलवार ने योग समाधि द्वारा ज्योति-पुंज में लीन हो चुके द्रोणाचार्य का मस्तक उनके धड से अलग कर डाला था. आचार्य की आत्मा तो कभी की अपनी यात्रा पूर्ण करके अमृत की दिशा में पदार्पण कर चुकी थी.

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आज स्वाभाविक ही सुन्दरकाण्ड का स्मरण हो गया. सुन्दरकाण्ड का पाठ गत वर्ष मैने बहुत बार सुना लेकिन हर बार एसा अद्बभुत अवर्णिय अनुभव हुआ जो चेतना को प्रज्वलित कर देता. सभी दुखों को भूलकर प्रभु राम के कमल चरणों का आनन्दमय अनुभव दिलाता. बता देता कि हनुमान जी कि निष्ठा पुर्ण भक्ति के आगे मैं कितना तुच्छः हूँ. आखिर प्रभु के भक्ती के योग्य बनने के लिये, मुझमें एसा क्या है? मैं कामी हूँ, स्वार्थी हूँ, अभिष्ट व्यव्हार करता हूँ, मद सेवन करता हूँ, ईषा और द्वेष से पूर्ण हूँ और सबसे परे आखिर मैं अपनी मातृभूमी के प्रती सम्मान भी ना दे सका? अपनी ही मूर्ख्ता पर खूब ठहाके मारे हैं मैंने. अपनी माँ को निरलज्ज करते हुए मुझे किन्चित भी हीनता नहीं हुई? दूसरों में दोष निकालना कितना सरल है, लेकिन आज खुद को देखता हूँ, तो क्यों मुझे अपना तेज नही दिखाई देता, क्यों अपने से आँखे चुराने का मन करता है, क्यों हर दिन भोझ लगता है. आखिर क्यों मन में खालीपन है और क्यों सुन्दरकाण्ड का स्मरण सभी शन्काऒं, सभी दुखों को भुला देता है?

समाज कहता है, रामायण मिथया है, एक कावय है और कुछ नहीं. शायद हो. पर मुझे इस्में शान्ती का अनुभव क्यों होता है? क्यों में मर्यादा पुर्षोत्तम श्रीराम और प्रभु हनुमान के चरित्र का अनुसरण करना चाहता हूँ. मेरे कालेज के रास्ते में हनुमान कि एक प्रतिमा आती है, इतनी बडी कि उसे दूर से देख सकूँ. जब भी कोई बुरा कर्म करता हूँ, तो अगले दिन प्रभु से आँखें मिलाने का साहस भी नही होता. एक हीनता, एक ग्लानी अनुभव होती है. आखिर अन्तत: यह रामयण का पाठ, ये सुन्दरकाण्ड का सुनना, ये धर्म से परिपूर्ण बातें करना आखिर एक मिथ्या, एक धोखा ही तो है. धोखा खुद को, अपनी चेतना को. धर्म का अनुयायी बतला कर, अधर्म करना तो निन्दनीय है. इससे से तो अधर्मी ही अच्छा जो कम से कम अपनी इन्द्रियों के वश में रह्कर अपने शरीर के धर्म का पालन तो कर रहा है. मेरी तरह छल तो नही करता. हा, में तो इतना नीच हूँ कि धर्म के छलावे में हृदय से मलीन हूं. आखीर हूँ भी क्यों नहीं. जो अपनी माँ का पापी है, उस से और कैसा व्यव्हार अपेक्षित है.

छी… खुद से ग्लानि आती है.

Alright we all have heard this cliched phrase so often. But on the contrary it just goes to show how comfortable we are living in our dreams totally oblivious to the actual situation. Terrorism I believe is equitable to religion. Almost every terrorist outfit is religiously motivated and all so frequently we hear religious texts in “support” of terrorism (rather misinterpreted to perpetuate terrorism). Why is it so tabooed to associate terrorism with religion? Perhaps the reason is simple. No religious community wants itself to be shown in poor light. Sadly, perpetuating one’s religion and increasing the followers has now emerged as the sole motive of all of us. Hindus criticize western practices, Muslims are a notch more staunch, Christians more shrewd, perpetuating their religion through “missionaries” and so on. Why can’t the followers of a religion be satisfied by restricting the practice of their religion to themselves?  Why they have to preach? Why can’t anyone freely decide which religion he/she is most comfortable with? Why do we need someone else to tell us which religion to follow? If they expect us to truly understand and abide by their religion, follow it by heart; then surely they expect us to be capable of an intellect and wisdom to choose our religion path or anything which gives us spiritual peace.

Religion is a very dicey subject. In minds of someone who lacks the will and intellect to practice what he/she reads and considers supreme it becomes a raging fire where he/she sees anyone not following his/her beliefs as his/her enemy, for sooner or later he will try to influence his/her mind. This perhaps even the staunch religion follower also realizes but he is way too uncomfortable and shallow willed to understand that religion is practiced not by materialistic rituals or traditions but belief and undeterring faith in what you and your holy scripture believes is justice.

Understanding religion requires instigation of thinking and abstract powers which only develop after acquiring knowledge and ability to think rationally. Our minds in early years are very plastic and not surprisingly some of the staunch religion followers are raised in conservative environment. Childhood is not an age for preaching or practicing religion. If anyone doesn’t have a religion its a child, not terrorist. But yet we see all kind of prayers and religious annotation in textbooks meant for children. Why can’t a child first progress to understand the wonders of life around him/her?  Why can’t religion wait?

Its amazing how we find solace in God and religious scriptures and how that same religion can motivate us to such an extent so as to kill our own people or sacrifice our life!! There is infact no terrorist, its just minds which have been molded to consider their religion as “all or none”. And whose fault is this? Ours indeed. And it call comes back to preaching religion. The day we stop forcing our religious beliefs on others we can probably hope for a terror free world.

Terror has always been a face of religious fanaticism. Back in old days invaders invaded countries to make others like themselves for they believed that their way of thinking and religion was supreme. Today we have these “religious preachers” and “religious organizations”.  Where is the difference? Who are the real terrorists then? Those who are truly following what they have been made to believe the ultimate truth is or those who have molded their minds to believe that their interpretation of religion is accurate and final word?? Religion always ends in one conclusion – the pursuit of righteous path but at places it does give the impression of lopsidedness and its dark side, but then everything must be seen in entirety. Don’t look at a tree so closely that you forget that there is an entire jungle out there.

Terrorists are like us, you and me, common people with a religion but they lack the intellect and will to truly understand and follow what their religion actually means.

Hmmm…interesting!! Well if you don’t have even a damn idea about what I am talking here then read on. Its utterly stupid but nevertheless a bindass timepass. So, how many orifices do you think a doctor deals with at a time? Let’s render this masterpiece (For linguistically challenged read “orifice” as “hole”)

Surgeons (:-D) : Mouth and “mine”(that’s anal orifice dude!!). They also end up making holes in you and then plugging them.

Ob/Gy : “*****” (Yes…we love it!!) and “mine”. They also make and plug holes but often clumsier than surgeons. Ob/Gy are probably the “black sheep” of surgery people.

Orthopedicians : They makes holes practically anywhere in your body!!

Urologist : “Peehole” (and that comes bundled with a set of “bells” as knocking is strongly discouraged!!)

Anesthesiologist : Not only will they fiddle with your mouth but also dig into it. Beavers creepers!!

ENT : Ear, nose and throat. That’s a lot of openings man!!

Neurologist : Round “aspirin” tablets (if that counts!! Wish aspirin came like the “mint with hole” stuff…)

Pathologist : Makes holes in every tiny portion of body but usually its too late!! But good thing for pathologist is that they don’t have to plug in their holes!

Internist : Mouth only (Well, I can’t think of anything else. That’s what called bias son!!)

Pediatricians and Psychiatrists : “Assholes” (Themselves as well as those they deal with it!!)

Public healthist : “Sewer holes” LOL!!

Radiologist : Sorry dudes, you missed out on this!!

So how did you guys like this crap May be they should rank the specialities by its orifices. Lesser the orifices, lesser the mess and better the medicine. I am a medicine man not some psycho butcher doc who opens up people to treat them!! May god save from such horrid experiences. Lets wait for days of nanomedicine and bloodless surgeries.

A joke which I would like to share;

Q> What do you call two orthopedicians studying an ECG?

A> A “Double blind” study!! (can extend the joke to surgeons for those who just love surgeon bashing!!)